As you know I write a lot about my depression, for a blog named ‘Learning to Dad’ it has become the focal point of the blog. I mean, writing about my kids is lovely. I found, however, that writing about what goes in on my head helped me more than I ever thought it could. I needed that to learn how to be a parent and more importantly to feel human.
For Gypsies, Travellers and Romani people, depression and other mental illnesses are kept hidden and not spoken of. We have to deal with daily racism and I am on constant defence when I walk into a shop, pub, cinema, or anywhere another Traveller is in. I mean, when places like Next and ASDA have sessions on ‘how to spot a Traveller’ during your work induction, (yep I had to sit there and listen on how staff must be vigilant and stalk them through the store, as we all “were richer than everybody else because they all steal”. I know, right?) it makes it hard to trust anywhere I walk in to and you’re not going to have the best mental state are you? Another story for another time.
Anyway, I found that when I began talking about mental health so many people spoke with me about it, and also spoke about it like it wasn’t shameful to try to understand what is going on in their body and mind. It was something I didn’t anticipate at all. They asked questions and felt good that they weren’t alone. This is what we all need to do, to help others from falling into a dark place.
Throughout my blogs, I’ve always been graphically honest about where I was at, how I was feeling and what I was going through at the time. Recently, I was in one of the lowest places I’ve ever been in. I battled with horrible things I had to listen to in my head, see, or think things that I had to fight, multiple times a day. It drained me and left me angry, agitated and horrible to be around. My prescription tablets weren’t working and the GP offered blood tests to find out I have low levels of vitamin B12. Thankfully, my wife had had enough and made me search for an alternative way to manage my mental health, (and ultimately, my physical health).
A few people had asked me what I thought about CBD (Cannabidiol – the compound extracted from a cannabis plant. Not to be mistaken for the ‘party time’ compound, Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), which is what gets you high), even though I had never tried it. Then more stories of frankly, life-changing stories for people with severe physical illnesses appeared and I was sold on at least trying it.
So off I went and to a vape shop, and I pick up a little bottle of ‘Global Green CBD‘ oil. Again, this isn’t an ad and I know *nothing* about any brand at all, didn’t do any research, I just went and picked up the first brand that the shopkeeper told me about and away I went.
An hour or two after the first use, I felt my brain actually relax. I felt it ease up, stop feeling like it was strapped to an electric chair and for the first time in months, it wasn’t full of frustration or anger. It was just calm. It was lovely. When I fully explained to my wife how I felt, I nearly cried. I was happy to sit an explain to her what was going on and how I’d felt, without the usual need to dodge questions and want to escape. My mood became more positive because my mind wasn’t on an intense, defensive mode, and I slept so much better. I normally need an hour to wind my brain down of all the thoughts it has, then I usually manage a really light sleep. This time, I could still wake up and see to my two kids, but I felt back to sleep quickly and deeply.
This was just the first day.
Over the course of the week taking CBD oil two or three times a day I had found that,
- My focus had increased on every aspect, my work became manageable, (I have a very intense job, advocating for people from the GRT community, and also protecting and promoting our rights to councils and areas around North Wales – so a day’s work can MASH MY HEAD),
- I was thinking of ideas on how to play with the kids, and where we can go when normally I’d hope my wife would take them out and I’d be left alone.
- I wasn’t as anxious as I usually am with anything trivial.
- My ideas became better thought out and executed, due to my confidence levels increasing to how they were before I had an anxiety/stress attack that left me paralysed. I was able to focus and deliver what I needed to do and CBD oil, although not a magic elixir, is doing something that I have needed for the past decade or so.
- I also play in a band and have written music in the past, and this past week was the first week where I wanted to write music. I found that I’ve focused on teaching myself piano, rather than play games until 1am and then go sleep when I ‘escaped’ enough.
I began to post on my Instagram and Facebook about my experiences with my chosen CBD oil, (on a purely experiential basis, no payments/offers or anything. A strictly ‘no ad’ review) and the responses and interest I had were overwhelming. People were intrigued by the results I was writing about and wanted to know more, to the point where people were willing to give it a go!
In my personal opinion, I really hope those of you that are reading do try CBD oil if you are seeking alternative treatment. Over the course of the 7-10 days, it has without a doubt made me feel as I did when I was younger, calmer, more rational, more focused, less anxious, the ‘low points’ of depression aren’t as extreme, migraines and pains I would have at least once a week haven’t happened and my sleep is much, MUCH better.
All in all, I am fully on board with using CBD, (I mean, my older relatives absolutely love it!) and instead of the usual six-weekly appointment with the doctor, I’ll be free to order, or pick up a bottle when I need it, and with my experience so far, it has definitely been money well spent.
Thanks for reading, and I hope whatever you try, works for you! Let me know the oils that you use and tell me your experiences, please!
Learning to Dad.
P.S -Not an ad: In reply to those asking where I got my oil, you can order from the ‘Global Green CBD’ site here: https://www.globalgreencbd.co.uk/